Tannemys (Ilse Salzwedel)

Seeing that we live in a democracy, it’s Julius Malema’s turn to be made fun of.  Got this via e-mail (see, that’s a sort of indemnity, old Jewels. Moi didn’t think this one up, somebody else did. )

Deborah Patta: “Julias, if you had failed grade 12 would you have committed suicide?”

Julias: “Me commit a suicide?… I’d rather kill myself than do such a horrible thing.”

Quote for the day:

” I am not on this earth by chance. I am here for a purpose. And that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth I will apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all. And I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.” (Og Mandino)

Sitting in a Wimpy in Randburg, finishing an article and waiting for traffic to calm down. Had to get my nephew to Randburg at 08h00 – the strapping young lad got himself a role as an extra in an Afrikaans movie called Superhelde. Flew all the way from Windhoek yesterday for two days of adventure.

Reading the newspaper as well. On Beeld’s front page the testimony of Hettie Brittz, wife of Louis Brittz, gospelsinger, who was raped in their home during Mondaynight. Louis is one of the organisers of the national Turn2God-campaign that rolls out on March 6th. And yes, I do think the devil can’t stand his courage to stand up and urge a government and a country to turn back to God. So Satan sends a rapist and armed robbers. But I think he’s in for a nasty surprise… Just to have the guts to go publik and say “yes, I was raped” takes enormous guts. And it seems Hettie and Louis have a lot of that. Not to mention their faith. All I can say is: hats off, and strongs. Lots of people are praying for you!

The other news of the day is of course Madiba’s historical release from prison 20 years ago.

And of course the headline Two more Zuma kid’s revealed. No, he doesn’t have 22 kids, but apparently the identity of two kids were now revealed for the first time. Read here: http://www.timeslive.co.za/news/article301755.ece

Beeld’s cartoon today certainly sums up the difference between Madiba and our current prez, don’t you think?

For English speaking readers: statig means “dignified”. And stuitig? Nou ja, it means being a player, and not dignified at all… Nuff said, to quote my hero, Madmom. You’re adults (except for some of you), you can interpret the pics.

Okay, WHAT did you expect to get for R30?

Ek belowe jou, dis onweerstaanbaar mooi! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0lo_HlhIsE

And if you liked the Baby Shower-cartoon, click here to get it as a screensaver: http://www.mg.co.za/article/2010-02-05-zapiro-desktop-images

There was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three of their neighbors’ houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.

So the young wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.” The clerk replied, “Sorry, we’re all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But, he does knows karate.”

The wife didn’t believe the clerk, so he said to the dog, “Karate that chair.” The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces.

Then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.

So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog.

The husband was of course disappointed and somewhat skeptical about the Scottie dog’s abilities as a guard dog.

When she told her husband that the dog knew karate, he said, “Karate my ass!”

He’s still in hospital…

Night, night, blogland!

Yesterday’s Saturday Star carried a front page story with the headline: “Zuma broke sex pact”. Firstly, I never knew one could have a sex pact. I’ve only ever heard of a sixpack. Secondly, it seems our president was brought to book by ANC elders this week for breaking a promise at Polokwane that he will “stop sleeping around” and that he will give FULL DISCLOSURE on his relationships, wifes and children, legit or otherwise. Quote unqoute from the Star.

I think Helen Zille said it well when she said the ANC should stop playing the CULTURE card. If I do it, as an Afrikaans speaking person, it will be called racism, not culture. If Malema or the Prez does it, it’s culture. Note the double standards?  (By the way, us South Africans on grass root level, as you like to call it, are getting tired of double standards, Mr President and co.)

Attended a braai last night, where the question of the virile president (naturally) came up. (No pun intended…)

Somebody said that we have a lot of ex-presidents (De Klerk, Mandela and Mbeki) but only one sex president…

And look how cartoonist Fred Mouton saw the whole issue earlier this week in Die Burger.

Huh??

*Ek het vandag ‘n duur les geleer…’n Mens moet nooit lag as ‘n “dief” op ‘n fiets deur ‘n trein getrap word nie. Dit kan moontlik jou fiets wees.

*Hierdie is ‘n dringende boodskap van die Nasionale Bevolkings
Registrateur:

“Jou geboorte was ‘n fout. Jy moet onmiddelik na
jou naaste Kliniek gaan om uitgesit te word. Ons vra om
verskoning vir enige ongerief!”

* Skotte is bekend vir hulle Whisky
Duitsers is bekend vir hulle Bier
Russe is bekend vir hulle Vodka
Jamaica is bekend vir hulle Rum
Waarvoor is Suid Afrikaners bekend? Vir die [email protected] wat hulle maak as hulle die goed drink!!!!

*Koos is besig om liefde te maak toe sy bokkie ‘n epileptiese aanval kry. Koos bel die dokter, en die vra wat is fout. 
Koos: Ek dink haar orgasme haak vas.

*Mans is soos rooi wyn. Hoe ouer, hoe beter.
Vroue is soos: melk, eers word hulle suur en dan word hulle dik!

*Wat het jy as jou skoonma tot by haar skouers in sement staan?
Te min  sement.

* Blond bel die brandweer en sê haar huis is aan die brand.
Die man vra: Okay, hoe kom ons daar uit?

Sy sê: Hellooo!! Met die  groot rooi lorrie!

My kinders is die middelpunt van my lewe. Gelukkig twee liewe goed wat my nog nooit teleurgestel het nie. Hulle is maar nog net 8 en 11, maar as ek luister na die sewe soorte hel waardeur ander ouers met kinders van dieselfde ouderdom gaan, kan ek nie help om die liewe Vader te dank vir my twee nie.

Sonder om in ‘n predikasie te verval, wil ek net heel eerste se ek glo aan drie R’e: roetine, reels en rituele. Met roetine bedoel ek nie gegiet-in-sement nie, maar min of meer. Hulle kan drie etes ‘n dag verwag, op min of meer dieselfde tyd. Iewers in ‘n dag moet daar huiswerk gedoen word, min of meer op dieselfde tyd. Blablabla.

Ek is erg op die reels – klink soms vir myself soos die bose heks van Endor, maar dit werk. Hoe ouer hulle word, hoe minder het ek nodig om die reels af te dwing.

En rituele het ons BAIE! Hulle was sedert geboorte welkom in my bed – vir ‘n slapie as die spoke pla, vir ‘n DVD saam met my kyk, vir koffie-en-beskuit op ‘n Saterdag. ‘n Ander ritueel wat al ‘n groot bron van pret en plesier was, is huisgodsdiens. Ek het al gebede aangehoor wat my trane laat loop het (so hard moes ek inhou om nie te skater van die lag nie). En ek het al wonderlike geloof gehoor – onder meer dat hulle steeds glo dat Liewe Jesus hulle (volslae alkoholis) pa se hart kan verander. Hulle mag bid net wat in hulle koppe kom, en het soveel selfvertroue dat die oudste gister en die jongste vandag die skool se afsluitingsgebed oor die interkom gedoen het – self gevolunteer. Onthou, Luc is maar graad 2, so ek was stomverbaas dat hy die moed gehad het vir dit.

As ek Bybel-lees, probeer ek dit interessant en informeel hou. (Hulle is nou, wat my betref in elk geval, verby die Kinderbybel stadium. Hulle moet nou die mooi van die Psalms en die wonderwerke van die Nuwe Testament en die ander wonderlikhede lees.

Eergisteraand verduidelik ek toe dat Paulus se naam eers Saulus was, en dat hy die Christene so gehaat het dat hy hulle help doodmaak het. Toe verander God sy hart en gee vir hom ‘n nuwe naam as teken van die verandering, en so word Saulus Paulus.

Vanaand lees Zoe Bybel, en sy blaai rond op soek na iets. Kom af op Job, en se dit hardop. O, seg Luc, Job klink soos jok.

Ja, se ek, maar Job het nooit gejok nie.

En Luc, dwalende op die Saulus/Paulus-kwessie, se in al sy 8-jarige onskuld en opregtheid: “O ja, en sy naam was mos eers Sop.”

Nou ja, dan se ek maar eers: “Nag, Sop!”