Update on my dad

Oktober 25, 2009 in Sonder kategorie

My dad is still very weak, but at least the fever is gone. Sleeping mostly, and complaining of pain everywhere. He has never done that before – getting him to sit up, is apparently especially painful. Tonight he said his back is sore – by a process of elimination I discovered it’s the lower back, spreading around to the front in the region of the bladder. Heated one of those beanbagthingies and let the aide rub the back with arnica oil. Hopefully that and the pain medicine will do the trick.

The hospice sister was here again yesterday. Told me it’s possible that the prostate cancer has now spread to the bones, which it apparently does after a few years. (It’s a slow cancer, usually only resulting in death after about 8 – 10 years, as far as I could find out.)

I heard from his original urologist that he (the doctor) suspected cancer in 2002 already, but that my dad asked him not to confirm it, as it would make no difference. It was officially diagnosed and named 3 years ago, when it was already progressing fast. A year’s Zoladex-injections followed, but after he moved here last year, the urologist said it won’t serve any purpose to continue with this, as the side effects (hot flushes, etc) is not worth it at his age. So, it makes sense that this could be the prostate cancer.

Something (possibly the Parkinsons working on the lungs???) still makes it impossible for him to cough. Looks and sounds extremely painful.

The hospice sister said they will discuss his case tomorrow to see if he should be admitted there. Even if just for a respite. Apparently that service is available to give the carers a break when needed.

What hell it must be to have all these crippling things (1 big stroke, possible more smaller ones, calcifying arteries, a weakened heart, Parkinsons and cancer) after you always looked after your health. Even worse, to be dependant on others after a life of being the one that everybody could depend on.

It’s extremely stressful to watch this. Having supportive, loving and understanding people, helps a lot. It’s also a time when you know who you can really count on in your life. My friends Jackie and Ludi provided cooked food for everybody for the weekend (my sister from CPT and both brothers, one from Windhoek) were here. And Ludi even let me borrow a worker to cut the lawn after having a lot of rain and a broken lawn mower for the last four weeks. Cornelia, as always, had the shoulder for crying on, and just knowing she’s there with Gerhard, made my life so much easier for the last three years.

Spent today with Kobus and Belinda who insisted that the kids and I just get away from everything. (The other siblings were with dad.) The kids are taking things in their stride, but I’m not always sure how this is really affecting them. They have been real troupers over the past year. Any mother’s pride!

7 antwoorde op Update on my dad

  1. Ai sterkte hoor. Ek is egter bly jy blog daaroor want so kry jy ‘n klankbord vir jou gevoelens. Ek dink aan jou…xxxx

  2. Napier het gesê op Oktober 25, 2009

    Thinking of you, a very difficult time. As MM said, thoughts and prayers are with you

  3. Thank you so much guys!! My cyberfriends really mean a lot to me. One can feel very isolated from the world if you are housebound like this. My only consolation is that my mom didn’t have to see this and deal with this on her own.

  4. hutton het gesê op Oktober 25, 2009

    Thinking of you. Hugs

  5. Thanks Hutton!

  6. Yes, it is rather sad to watch the battle. I feel so powerless. Can’t do anything to change the course. Strongs!

  7. Dankie Penkop! Hoop jy kry die (&%$#!) wages uitgesorteer!

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