I like silly things

Ek was so lanklaas hier ek voel weer vreemd van vooraf!!!

‘n Man wat by Fruit &Vegs werk is besig om appels uit te pak. Die vrou stap na hom toe…
“Ekskuus meneer, weet jy waar die kool is?”
“Ons het op die oomblik nie kool nie mevrou, maar ons sal môre kool hê.”
So 5 minute later hoor hy weer ‘n stem, “Meneer waar is die kool??”
Hy antwoord weer, “Ons het nie kool nie mevrou.”
Na so rukkie tik sy weer aan sy skouer en vra, “Ek kry nie die kool nie??!”

 

Hy is nou duidelik gatvol en sê…
“Mevrou, kan mevrou my net gou 3 vrae beantwoord…
Hoe spel mens “kat” in “katastrofe?”
“K…A…T” antwoord sy.”
Hoe spel mens hond in hondsdolheid?” “H…O…N…D”
“Nou mevrou laastens. Hoe spel mens “Fok” in “kool”?”.
“Daar is nie “Fok” in “kool” nie?” sê sy
“Nou presies daar is nie Fok-in-kool nie!!

 

Die Blond huil vreeslik tydens die geboorte van haar tweeling.

Die Dokter vra verbaas…”Hoekom huil jy so vreeslik, jy het dan nounet ‘n tweeling ryker geraak?”

“Ja ek weet” antwoord sy… “Maar…snik…ek weet nie wie die Pa van die tweede een is nie…snik”

Gatiep Innie  Court.
Regter:  “Hoe kan  jy onskuldig pleit as 5 mense jou sien steel het?”
Gatiep: “Djou Honour, ek kan thousands bring wat my nie gesien het nie!”
Regter:  “Waar is jy gebore?”
Gatiep: “Djou Honour, ek is gebore innie Kaap!”
Regter:  “Watter deel?”
Gatiep: “My hele lyf is daar gebore, djou Honour, net die tanne is van joburg af!”

Loving Someone

 

  A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a

  loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes.

 

  When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a

  medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the

  bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the

  kitchen, totally forgot the matter.

 

  The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and, fascinated

  with its colour, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant

  for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried

  him to the hospital, where he died.  The mother was stunned. She was

  terrified how to face her husband.

 

  When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child,

  he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.

 

  What do you think were the four words???

 

  The husband just said “I Love You Darling”

 

  The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is proactive behaviour. The child

  is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in

  finding fault with the mother.

 

  Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not

  have happened. No point in attaching blame. She had also lost her only

  child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from

  the husband. That is what he gave her.

 

  Sometimes we spend so much time asking who is responsible or who is to

  blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know.

  that we miss out some warmth in human relationship in giving each other

  support. After all, shouldn’t forgiving someone we love be the easiest

  thing in the world to do? Treasure what you have. Don’t multiply pain,

  anguish and suffering by holding on to unforgiveness.

 

  If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be

  much fewer problems in the world.

 

  Take off all your envies, jealousies, unwillingness to forgive,

  selfishness, and fears and you will find things are actually not as

  difficult as you think.

 

  THINK….. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.

  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

 

  REMEMBER….. Caring should be in the Heart and not in Words. Anger should

  be in Words and not in the Heart. 

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that he can get one over on the senior easily.

So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun…

“I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00,” he says.
This catches the senior’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question.
“What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?”
The senior doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it’s the senior’s turn. He asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?”
The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.
He sends E-mails to all the smart-arsed lawyer friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks,

“Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

You know you’re going to send this one on.

Don’t mess with Seniors!