Revenge for the men (after this morning’s post about the point-system for men)

Januarie 26, 2010 in Sonder kategorie

With so much serious stuff going on in Blogville, and with so much work on my desk (not that I’m complaining) I don’t have a lot of time to post. So, mostly sharing what my friends send to amuse me.

Mostly Dazed and Eddie and Adoons, this one’s for you!

 

‘Tis indeed unfair that I didn’t ask what men think about us women. But the following men knew, and put it superbly. (Understated, yet powerful, and funny!)

 

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. (David Bissonette)

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. (Sacha Guitry)

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

(Socrates)

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. (Anonymous)

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? (Dumas)

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.. (Sigmund Freud)

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” (Anonymous)

“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” (Sam Kinison)

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.” (James Holt McGavra)

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.

(Patrick Murra)

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once… (Nash)

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. (Anonymous)

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Henny Youngman)

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. (Rodney Dangerfield)

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.” (Anonymous)

 

9 antwoorde op Revenge for the men (after this morning’s post about the point-system for men)

  1. benmica het gesê op Januarie 27, 2010

    UPSET WIFE – EXCELLENT!!
    She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love
    to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset!
    “You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!”
    And he replied:
    “Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened.”
    “Fine, go ahead”, she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”
    And he began:
    “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young Lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
    I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight.
    The poor thing devoured them in moments.
    Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.
    I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair like them..”
    He took a quick breath and continued:
    “She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said:
    “Please……..do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?'”

  2. benmica het gesê op Januarie 27, 2010

    Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding

    anniversary!
    The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Wife — Cold As Ever’!”

    “Yeah?” she replies.. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Husband — Stiff At Last’!”

  3. benmica het gesê op Januarie 27, 2010

    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…

    30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
    The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
    The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

  4. benmica het gesê op Januarie 27, 2010

    Gatiep en Maraai stap uit Spar uit met ‘n pram Maraai kyk in
    die pram en skree: “DISSIE VERKEERDE kind!!!”
    Gatiep se: ” Hou jou bek man dit is ‘n beter pram!”

  5. I needed a good laugh.

  6. zannex het gesê op Januarie 27, 2010

    Briliant! i realy enjoyed this. Thanks

  7. Jy’s lekker op jou stukke, he Carl!

  8. Aaaaaahhhh. Great

  9. ” The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? (Dumas)”

    No One has found out yet!! 🙂

    Have an excellent day!!

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