It’s NOT only men being guilty of violence against women and children.

November 25, 2009 in Sonder kategorie

The reaction to my previous post, and Simon’s blog on 16 days of activism led to this post.

It’s DEFINITELY not only men that needs to stop committing violence against women and children. Women needs to stop doing it too.

Before I get jumped on for saying this, let me quickly explain.

1) My earlier post tells the story of a mother treating her child worse than most people would ever treat an animal.

2) A few years ago I was the research journo for a programme on kykNet called Spits. It was an investigative programme, which means people send us leads for stories, mostly on corruption and crime, to be exposed. One of the stories led us to the smallholding of a woman who owns a brothel (or two) in Pretoria. Not only does she become rich from “renting out” other women’s bodies, but she also holds their children “hostage”. Albeit a sophisticated hostage-holding under the guise of helping these kids. It works like this:

The mother is worried about her child/children being left without care while she is out “working”. The kindly madam brothel-owner steps in and offers to take said children under her wing. She then takes them to her plot, where they are looked after and send to school. But, here’s the catch, the mother (prostitute) now has to “work back” her children. In other words, before she can see them again, she has to earn X amount of money for the madam.

And here is the other catch: the Madam imposes all kinds of fines on the prostitutes. Anything from “being rude” to a client, arriving late to clashing with another prostitute gets “fined”. The Madam fines at whim, and according to the prostitutes interviewed, even thinks up things.

The result? The mother can’t ever get her child back without the help of police or social workers, in which case she will more than likely lose the children in any case.

3) This story led to other prostitutes contacting us with similiar stories. (Bear in mind this was about six years ago.) I went to interview some of them for a magazine article, and was told the story of a certain blonde bombshell visiting brothels to pick out ladies for her and her boyfriend’s games. The lady in question? Advocate Barbie, of course!! It was also a known fact among brothel owners that she was looking for young girls as well. I heard that there was a couple operating from the Maders Hotel in Pretoria back then who was renting out their young daughters…

So, feminists and activists and all kind of other -ists, it’s NOT men who needs to stop violence against us and our children. It’s  SOCIETY IN GENERAL, including mothers and aunts and cousins and nieces who often see wrongs being committed, or even worse, commit it themselves.We all need to stand together against this, and, very important, teach our children in such a way that we can break the cycle of violence. I have a little boy, and it is my job to teach him respect for women and children. (For other people in general.) And I have a 11-year old girl, and I must teach her the same things, plus self-respect and self-esteem so that she will hopefully not fall pray to any kind of mistreatment or violence.

Also: are we as society doing enough for women in need? Are there enough shelters? Do we want to get involved in a case where we know for sure that a woman is being abused? The answer, unfortunately, is NO! So, society as a whole needs to stand up and be counted in campaigns like the 16 Days of Activism.

3 antwoorde op It’s NOT only men being guilty of violence against women and children.

  1. PLEEEZZZZZ South Africa, don’t turn your head! report these matters

  2. Nicely said. The 16 days of activism is not about men as many men would like to believe, it is about all kinds of abuse directed at women and children.

  3. Well said Tannmys!!! especially about women on women violence or women who want to turn away from violence when they know it is happening! there are not enough shelters, shelters in any case exploit one and do nto really care for OR respect the women who go to them – the entire system gets a FAIL from me

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